A Story never written
by Juvi91
Summary: Starts from season 1, pilot. Jax is with his wife Lucy and they are expecting their first son. How will their story evolve? How different is Jax' life going to be with a true old lady at his side?
1. Present: My man the biker

Lucy pulled into the driveway. She was glad to finally be home, her day had been so exhausting. Not only was she seven month pregnant but it had been so hot inside Teller-Morrow Auto shop, that she felt like she had melted multiple times today. She hadn't seen her husband all day and she was looking forward to spending a quiet evening on the couch with him.  
She climbed out of her truck and searched for her keys while walking up the front steps. Inside she placed her purse on the kitchen table before she went out again and got the two large grocery bags that she had left in the car.  
Back inside she decided against cooking right away and dropped herself on the sofa. The baby was kicking hard inside her. Now that she finally calmed down, he started his action.  
"Calm down little man," she said while stroking her already pretty big belly.  
Just in that moment her phone started ringing in her purse.  
"Hey baby," she smiled at the thought of her perfect husband: "Where are you?"  
"I'm still at the club, but I'll leave soon."  
"Good, be safe."  
"Course, darlin'. I love you."  
"Love you too."  
She hung up and started preparing dinner. Her mom used to cook with her all the time and she had made a habit of cooking for Jax and herself every night. Usually she would cook Italian, because she just loved it, but tonight she had bought chicken breasts and Potatoes.  
She was ready, just as she heard his Harley pull into the driveway.  
"Daddy's home." She walked to the front door and opened it. Jax was still putting his helmet away, but when he saw her standing on the front steps, he gave her a big grin.  
"Hey baby," he gave her a tight hug and kissed her forehead.  
"Come on let's eat."  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company.  
Lucy watched him eat, he seemed even more exhausted then her.  
"How's the little guy?" Jax asked before showing in another bite of baked potatoes.  
"He is moving around so much right now. It's kind of painful, but he usually stays quiet all day when I'm at work, so I'm glad I know he's doing alright in there."  
Lucy could hear a bike rolling down the street.  
"Are you expecting someone?"  
Jax shook his head and got up: "It's probably just one of the guys."  
Lucy kept eating her dinner as she waited for Jax to check out the situation.  
"It's Chibs. I'll meet him outside."  
Lucy watched him leave and put down her cutlery. She wanted to know what's going on, so she followed him quietly and stood in the door watching the two.  
She couldn't make out the exact words, but Jax seemed on edge and he kept turning around giving her a disapproving look.  
Lucy turned around and went inside, she didn't want him to get mad and he would tell her later anyways.  
She finished her dinner and cleaned up.  
"What was that about?" She asked as soon as Jax returned.  
"The Mayan's stole our guns and torched the warehouse."  
"Fuck!"  
"I'll have to head out there in the morning," he pulled her closer: "I know we wanted to pick up the crib, but maybe we can do it another day?"  
"Sure," Lucy smiled, she didn't want him to feel pressured. It was important for her that his head was all in, because being half in half out got people killed.  
They went to bed early that evening and when Lucy awoke the next morning Jax had already left.

After breakfast Lucy decided to drive by the club and see if the boys where back yet. She showered and put on a pair of jean Gemma and she had bought a few days ago and a black Tank top. She eyed herself in the mirror. She liked the way she looked, especially her perfect belly.  
On her way to the car she talked to the little man. He kept moving inside her and she patted her belly to make him calm a little.  
She started the engine and rolled of the driveway. Teller-Morrow wasn't far, she drove past the school and past Clay and Gemma's house.  
Suddenly, only a few meters away from the auto shop, a dark SUV came out of nowhere. He crashed into the passenger side and pushed Lucy's truck against a concrete wall.  
She tried to see who was sitting in the driver's seat, but when her head was hit against the wall everything went black.

Lucy became conscious in the ambulance. She was scared, medical staff was talking to her, asking her name, asking if she could hear them. Her whole body ached. She felt like every inch of her body was bruised.  
"Yes," she said slowly: "I can hear you."  
The young man smiled at her.  
"My baby," Lucy cried out, trying to touch her stomach.  
"Mam' please, I need you to lay still. We are doing everything we can," a women stepped into her view pushing her down.  
"Please," Lucy started crying. She was more scared then she had ever been in her whole life. She tried sitting up again, but a sharp pain inside made her groan.  
"Lucy you need to calm down," the young man said, giving his colleague a worried look. His hands where palpating her big belly, but Lucy felt nothing. Her baby wasn't moving. She started hyperventilating. Did she loose her baby? Suddenly the pain inside her breast worsened.  
"I can't breathe," she choked, then everything went black again.

Jax was standing next to Opie, he had tried talking him into returning to SAMCROW, when his phone started ringing in his pocket.  
"Mom, I'm in the middle of something."  
He listened to what his mom had to say, then his expression froze.  
"What do you mean accident?"  
"They are taking her to St. Thomas. It's bad Jax, real bad," his mom seemed to be crying.  
"I'm on my way," he hung up and ran towards his bike.  
"Where are you going?" Opie called.  
"Someone hit Lucy's truck, I need to get to St. Thomas."  
With that he jumped on his bike and rushed to the hospital.

Gemma was standing in the waiting room, with Clay, Tig, Bobby and Chibs. He speed walked towards them.  
"How is she?" He shouted.  
"The doctor's said they'd be here soon."  
Bobby pushed him into a seat: "You need to breathe brother. They'll be here as soon as they know something."  
Jax buried his face in his hands and tried holding back his tears. This was all his fault, they were supposed to spent the day together, but he just had to leave her alone again.  
"They'll be okay," Gemma whispered pulling him close: "Here comes the doctor."  
Jax jumped up and walked to the pretty blond women, that called his name.  
"That's me."  
"Mr. Teller, your wife's injuries are severe, but not life-threatening. She has a broken leg and two broken rips. Her face is badly swollen and she seems to be having a bad concussion. We had to get your baby via C-Section, he is ten weeks premature. In addition the crash broke his right arm and he has a heart defect."  
"Oh my god," Jax covered his mouth with one hand, while holding on to a chair for support with the other.  
"We are giving him a 20% chance. Mr. Teller, I am so sorry."  
"Where are they?"  
"You son is in the Newborn ICU. He is going to stay in there for a while. We fixed his arm, but we will see how he is doing before we can go in again and take care of his heart. Your wife will need to stay here for a couple of days, but you can come with me, I'll take you to see her."  
Jax nodded and followed her into Lucy's room.  
"Oh baby," he whispered when he saw her laying there. She was badly bruised in the face, her leg was in a casket and she seemed to be having trouble breathing. When she saw him she smiled, but her eyes where full of tears.  
"Oh god Jax. Our baby." She cried silently in his arms, as he kissed and stroke her hair to soothe her.  
"We haven't even picked out a name yet," he whispered and kissed her swollen cheeks.  
"We said we'd wait 'till he's there. And now he was just torn into life like that," she cried and her hand grabbed his tightly.  
"We'll call him Abel," Jax said, kissing her again.  
Lucy smiled, leaning back against her pillow: "Yeah, Abel is good name."


	2. Past: First Date

**PAST**

Lucy eyed herself in the mirror. She was wearing tight dark blue jeans, cowboy boots and a dark blue blouse. She was very satisfied with herself. She always wore her dark blond hair open and tonight it fell perfectly around her slim shoulder.  
She skipped down the stairs and dropped herself on the couch. Her mother pulled up an eyebrow, then went back to her Saturday evening show.  
"What?"  
"Nothin' baby," she smiled, but Lucy knew something was up.  
"Oh mama, come on. I know that look."  
"I'm just worried, my baby girl is going out with a Son."  
"What do you mean? Daddy's SAMCROW."  
"My point exactly," Lucy's mother said, giving her a serious look: "You and Jax have known each other all your life and I know his mama raised him well, but all the shit that has happened with your daddy, I just don't want you to go through what I have gone through."  
Now Lucy pulled up an eyebrow. Yes, there have been bad times. Her dad had been in jail, gotten shot and probably slept with other women behind her mother's back, but this was their life and she had never thought her mother felt this way about it.  
"I know baby. I know. I love the club, it's our family. I'm just having trouble adjusting to the thought of my baby girl…," she broke off and smiled at her daughter: "Don't listen to me. I bet your night is going to rock."  
Lucy laughed, leaned forward and gave her mother a big kiss: "You don't really say 'rock' anymore."  
Just then Lucy heard a car pull into the driveway.  
"That's him." She jumped up and ran to the door. Then she stepped back took a deep breath and walked back to the couch.  
"Good girl," her mother said.  
Lucy waited for the doorbell to ring.  
"Hi," she said after opening the door and looking into the very handsome face of Jackson Teller.  
"Hey. You ready?" Jax asked.  
"Yeah. Bye mama," Lucy called and followed Jax outside.  
They hadn't even reached his car when he pulled her close, looked deep into her hazel eyes and placed a kiss on her closed lips. Lucy was startled – what was that for?  
"I'm really happy we are doing this," Jax said, his face only inches away from hers.  
"Me too," was all Lucy could say.  
Jax pulled her towards his car, opened the passenger door and helped her inside. He drove a truck with a large cargo area and Lucy shivered thinking about the things they could do on it later tonight.  
"You hungry?" He asked, kissing her again.  
Lucy's head was spinning, if he kept kissing her, they wouldn't even make it out of her driveway.  
"Yeah, very."  
Jax grinned at her and climbed into the driver's seat.

They drove to a diner on the outskirts of town and cuddled into a booth together. They ordered Burger with Fries and two diet cokes.  
After their food arrived they started eating in silence. Lucy tried concentrating on her food, but the only think she really noticed was Jax hand on her upper thigh, slowly moving upwards.  
"It's good right?" He asked shoving a handful of fries into his mouth.  
"Mhm," she said taking a large sip of her coke.  
Jax leaned closer, kissing her earlobe, then whispering: "Maybe we should just go someplace else?"  
Lucy turned, pressing her lips upon his. He tongue found its way into his. He answered with a muted groan and pulled her closer.  
"Stop," she pushed him back and folded her hands on the table: "I think we should just slow down. Let me be honest. Kissing you is awesome. But this is our first date and the least we can do is finish our dinner."  
Jax laughed and slid away from her.  
"OK."  
Lucy was pleased. She had always dreamed about going on a date with Jackson Teller and now she was sitting here, eating fries with him, while his hand had stroke her legs just seconds ago.  
"You know," Jax said, leaning closer again: "I'm not really the typical first date guy."  
"I think you aren't wearing your cut yet,so you are allowed to be a gentleman."  
Jax threw his head back laughing.  
"If you say so darlin'."  
Lucy giggled.  
They finished their food and talked about school and the club.  
"I'll be able to ride a bike in about five years and that's when I'll become a prospect and get my first cut. I can't wait." Jax proudly announced.  
Lucy smiled and slid close to him.  
"I bet you'll look real sexy wearing leather."  
Jax grinned: "Well, that's the only reason I want it."  
Lucy laughed and rolled her eyes at him. He took her face between his hands and kissed her softly on the lips.  
"Let's go." He said, placing money on the table.  
Lucy followed him outside and climbed into the truck.  
"Where do you want to go?" Jax asked, taking her hand.  
"The park?" Lucy asked, not looking at Jax. She knew what was going to happen and she was excited and very scared at the same time.  
She had never done more than kiss and fool around with a boy, but she was sure Jax' had had many girls before. She leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes. When they arrived at the park, Jax pulled out a blanket and put it onto his cargo area.  
"Come on," he whispered and helped her on it.  
They lay down next to each other, Jax' arm underneath her head, her fingers locked with his.  
Lucy giggled  
"What?" Jax asked sounding slightly defensive.  
"Nothing, I was just thinking, that this is pretty romantic for a hardcore soon-to-be outlaw biker and all." She continued laughing.  
"Oh, you are really funny," Jax barked, turning his head away from her.  
"Oh come on baby, don't be offended," she climbed on top of him and tried turning his face in her direction. He clenched his jaw and didn't move an inch.  
Lucy leaned forward and started kissing his throat, then went on to nibble on his ear. When Jax still didn't react, she took his hand and lay it onto her breast. That got his attention, his eyes found hers and he gave it a little squeeze.  
Lucy moaned. Then they kissed passionately, Jax turning them around, so that he was on top of her. After a while of intense kissing and touching, Jax tucked on her shirt trying to take it off, that's when Lucy froze.  
"What?" Jax rolled off her and eyed her intently.  
"I just... I don't think I want to do that."  
"What? Kiss me?" Jax seemed confused.  
"No. I like kissing you. I mean, go further than kissing. I've never...You know."  
Jax started fiddling with the blanket, but he didn't answer her.  
"I'm sorry, I guess you thought I wanted to do that. But I just…" Lucy broke off, she had been so stupid. Of course a guy like Jax wanted to have sex. How could she think that this night was going to end any different?  
"You better take me home," she whispered and jumped off the cargo.  
"Lucy wait," Jax called, following her. He got a hold of her shoulder and pulled her into his arms: "Listen, I ... I have never done it either."  
Lucy couldn't believe what he was saying.  
"You've never…..?"  
Jax shook his head: "It's kind of stupid, but ever since you helped me repair your dad's bike I've liked you. I've liked you a lot. I didn't really see any other girls in the last year and …."  
Lucy looked at him, but he didn't continue.  
"I've liked you that long as well," Lucy replied, squeezing his hand.  
Jax smiled at her. Then he took a deep breath, slowly continuing: "I want you. I want only you. I want you to be my first."  
And that was the moment Lucy Stone fell in love with Jackson Teller.

_Thank you for reading and don't forget to review :D _


	3. Present: Mommy and Daddy

Lucy had been in the hospital for two days and she already hated it. The nurse had taken her twice to see Able, but seeing her baby locked in a toaster was just too much for her. After breaking down crying this afternoon, Jax had ordered his mother to stay with Lucy. Now Gemma felt obliged to babysit and had spent all evening entertaining her. Lucy wasn't really paying attention to her and she was pretty relieved when Gemma said good-bye shortly after nine.  
"I'm still going to see the baby, then I need to get home. Jax will probably come around tomorrow morning."  
"Fine," Lucy said.  
Gemma kissed her and left the room.  
Lucy couldn't stop her tears from falling when she thought about little Able in the ventilator. She had always wanted to have a natural birth and she had already read a couple of books on breastfeeding. Now her baby was fed by a tube and she was pumping milk for the garbage bin.  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She cursed, slamming her fist onto the night stand, completely forgetting about her broken rips and C-section scar. A sharp pain shot into her torso and she had to concentrate to stop herself from hyperventilating.  
Lucy closed her eyes and started to drift into thoughts.  
She had always wanted to be a mommy and ever since she and Jackson had started going out, she had wanted his babies. After what had happened to her parents, Jax had taken care of her. It had taken her more than two years to get back onto her feet, but Jax had stayed with her all that time.  
Everything she had, she owed to him. He had never given up on her and she had never given up on him. And no matter what he had to do to keep his club or his family safe, she never judged, she supported. Sometimes her own casualness scared her, but she knew her place and she'd do anything for him. She loved him and she wanted all the things he wanted, no matter the cost.  
Lucy was ripped out of her thoughts, when the room door was opened. It was Donna, Opie's old lady. She smiled. Donna and her used to be very close, but ever since Opie had gone to prison Donna resented the club, and stayed away from anyone affiliated with it.  
"Hi Lucy, I just wanted to check up on you. Opie told me what happened. I'm really sorry."  
She walked over and took Lucy's hand: "If you need anything, I'm here."  
Lucy smiled and patted her hand: "Thanks Donna. I appreciate that."  
"Yeah, I saw Gemma, she took me to see Abel. He is perfect and so strong."  
"He's already a fighter," Lucy said, trying to hold back her tears.  
"Well, I better go. The nurse already gave me a nasty look when she saw me come out of the elevator. I wish you all the best," Donna leaned forward, kissed her cheek and headed for the door.  
"See you soon," Lucy said, knowing exactly what she implied with that.  
"Bye Lucy," was all Donna replied.

The next morning Lucy was finally allowed to shower, the scar on her stomach hurt and it was really hard showering with your whole body aching, but at least she felt fresh again. A nurse had to help her with everything and when she was finally laying in her bed again she was exhausted.  
Jax arrived pretty late and she was bored out of her mind.  
"I'm sorry baby, but there was some real bad shit going on."  
"Tell me, please. I fell so left out of everything."  
"You know I tell you everything, but not here. Not like this, I don't want you to worry." He leaned forwards and kissed her softly.  
Lucy cursed and threw her head back in frustration. She was bored out of her mind and the doctor's told her she would have to stay in the hospital for at least a week. And the casket on her leg, well that wouldn't come off for at least another five weeks.  
"Have you figured out who did this to us?" She asked her husband.  
Jax shook his head. He took her hand in his.  
"I promise I will figure out who did this and they are going to pay for it."  
"Good."  
Jax and the boys were sure that her accident was no accident and it made Lucy crazy, that the person that did this to Abel was still running around alive.  
"Do you want to see the baby?"

Lucy nodded and Jax helped her into the wheelchair. He pushed her slowly into the N.I.C.U., careful not to hurt her.  
Lucy started crying as soon as they saw him. She wanted to hold him so badly. Jax tried to soother her but she was too upset to listen to anything he said.  
"I think it is better I take you back. The doctors said to go slow."  
"No. Please Jax. Please don't make me leave him." She was sobbing. Her whole body ached and everything inside her screamed of pain.  
"I can't see you like this baby. Please. I know how hard this must be. But in a few weeks we'll be able to take him home."  
"Yeah, right. If he survives," Lucy spit out those words like acid. She didn't even mean it, but she knew what could happen to her boy and she needed to say it out load.  
Jax shocked expression made her calm down.  
"You don't mean that," Jax hissed. His eyes filled with tears. Lucy wanted to take it back, but she knew she couldn't. She had never seen Jax cry. He was clenching his fists, taking short rapid breaths.  
"I'm sorry. Of course I don't" Lucy cried, pulling him towards her: "I'm just really scared."  
Jax nodded, biting his lower lip. He took her into his arms and stroke her hair. She knew that he was still crying, but she didn't say anything. It was time for her to shut up.

Jax felt horrible leaving Lucy alone in the hospital, but he still had to take care of so much stuff. On the parking lot he ran into his mother.  
"Hey baby," she said, kissing him softly.  
"Hey ma'" He kissed back and leaned against her car.  
"How's Lucy and the baby?"  
"Lucy is fucked up. She cries every time she sees Abel. The doctor's told me they are going in to fix his heart in a couple of days. To see him like this, it's breaking her."  
"Oh honey, I know. But you have to be strong. You got to hold it all together. You're a father now."  
"Yeah, for how long? A day? A week?" Jax snorted.  
His mother gave him an intense look: "You know, you were born with that same heart defect your little brother had." She punched him slightly and continued: "Seems pretty sturdy to me. I've been through hell, landed on my feet. Your father was hit by a goddamn semi, dragged 178 yards. And that bastard lived for two more days. Teller's do not die easy."  
Jax crossed his arms: "No. We just die bloody."  
He walked towards his bike, then he turned: "Please keep me posted."  
"Sure."  
His mother waved at him, then entered the hospital.

Lucy was lying in bed snoozing when Gemma arrived. She opened her eyes and smiled.  
"Hey. You missed Jax, he just left."  
"I ran into him on the parking lot. He seemed upset."  
"Yeah," Lucy looked at the floor: "That's my fault. I said something about Abel, which really hurt his feelings. I didn't even mean it."  
Gemma leaned forward, kissed her and then dropped herself in the by-standing empty chair.  
"You need to get your shit together darlin'. You're his mother." She leaned forward holding on the Lucy's chin. "If you don't believe he is gonna make it, you can just go and kill him yourself."  
Lucy knew she was right, she buried her face in her hands and started crying.  
"I know Gemma. I know you're right."  
Gemma hugged her: "Abel needs all your strength. I know it hurts, but you need to get it together."  
Lucy nodded, wiping away her tears.  
Gemma held her hand and caressed her cheek: "You are the best god damn parents this boy could have. Of course he is going to make it."


	4. Past: So close

Lucy had called Jax twice already, but he still didn't answer. She paced up and down her room, waiting for his return call.  
"Sweetheart, is everything alright?" Her mother called from downstairs.  
"Sure mama," she called back, as she dropped herself onto her bed.  
This was annoying. She dialed Jax' number again, but he didn't pick up.  
She closed her eyes and dreamed about Jax and the last couple of weeks. It had been a thrilling four month, with stolen kisses in between classes and long make out sessions in Jax' truck.  
A knock on her door ripped her out of her day dream.  
"Baby, it's me." Her mother entered.  
"Hey," she looked at her mother, waiting for her to say something.  
"I called Gemma."  
"Oh mama, why did you do that? I'm not a little girl anymore. I can take care of myself."  
"I know. I know," he mother replied, holding her hands up in defense: "I just need someone to check up on you every once in a while."  
"That's so embarrassing. She's Jax mother and now it will look like I need a babysitter."  
Her mother laughed, then she sat down next to her daughter: "I know you're no little girl anymore. But you aren't even seventeen yet. All I ask is that you join them for dinner tomorrow evening and answer the phone when she calls you."  
"Ok," Lucy agreed, just then her phone started ringing. She jumped.  
He mother leaned forward, gave her a peak on the cheek and closed the door on her way out.  
"Hello."  
"Hey, it's Jax. You called me a few times."  
"Yeah. I'm sorry." Now she felt stupid for calling so often: "I really wanted to tell you something. My parents are leaving for the weekend and, well, I wanted to know, if maybe…"  
"Yes?" Jax sounded jittery.  
"Do you want to come over later and spent the night?"  
Jax breathing fastened: "Sure. I'd love to."  
"Great. Bye." Lucy hung up before he could change his mind. But then again, why would he? He knew what she had meant with her invitation, tonight she wanted to sleep with him for the first time.

Lucy watched her parents load the car, they were running late, like always.  
"Hurry up Pete," her mother griped.  
"Comin' darlin', her father said, closing the trunk.  
They both hugged her and kissed her goodbye. Her father made her promise to call before she went to bed and in the morning. Lucy nodded and smiled, all she wanted was for them to leave and for Jax to arrive.  
She went back inside and slouched in the couch. It was shortly before eight, Jax would be here any minute and she was very excited. She turned on the TV and started watching _Full House_ reruns. With every minute that passed her excitement grew. She decided on calming herself with a cigarette. She found some in her father's Jeans, went into the kitchen and lit it. The first drag made her cough but after a few more she relaxed. Her glance fell upon the stove clock, it was already half past eight. Where the hell was he?  
She went back into the living room and continued watching TV.  
When Jax still hadn't arrived at ten she buried her head in a pillow and started crying. She was so disappointed in him she just couldn't hold back her tears.  
At eleven she had enough, turned out the TV and the lights and headed for bed. She brushed her teeth, put on her favorite sleeping shirt and cuddled up in her bed.  
Just as she turned out the lights, her cell phone rang.  
She searched for it in the dark and answered.  
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm on my way. Something came up. I'll tell you as soon as I'm there."  
"Don't bother." Lucy barked and hung up.  
She waited a few minutes, then the doorbell rang. She got up, walked downstairs but didn't open.  
"Lucy please," Jax pleaded, banging the door: "I can explain."  
She leaned her forehead against the door and took a deep breath, then she opened it.  
Jax stepped inside, pulled her close and hugged her tight.  
"I am so sorry." He kissed her, and pulled her towards the couch.  
"Yeah. Next time just say you don't want to see me," Lucy barked.  
Jax looked at her sadly: "Of course I wanna see you baby."  
"Right," she didn't look at him.  
"Will you please let me explain?" He begged, taking her hands in his.  
Lucy nodded: "Fine."  
"I was on my way over here, when Opie called me. He didn't say what was up, so I drove by his place."  
"Is he alright?"  
"Well, yeah, but he could be in real trouble."  
"What did he do?"  
"You know Donna, right? She's in our history class. Opie really likes her. Today he saw some guys hitting on her in front of the supermarket where she was waiting for her mom. One of them got a little aggressive, behaved inappropriate. Well, Opie freaked. He beat the living crap out of that guy. When I arrived at his house before, he was fucked. He kept telling me that he'll go to jail. He really needed me. I'm sorry I didn't call, but I just forgot. I had to help him tell his dad. Piney was pissed. But I think he is going to take care of it."  
"Oh god,"  
Jax nodded: "Yeah, it was crazy."  
Lucy leaned forward, he face was only a few inches from his: "Good safe."  
Jax laughed, pulling her close. He kissed her softly.  
"So, what exactly does 'spend the night' mean?"  
Lucy giggled, kissing from Jax' jaw line down to his chest. Her fingers slid under his shirt and caressed his muscular chest. He moaned as she crawled into his lab and pressed her lower half against his.  
Lucy liked the way he responded to her and after a while of kissing she felt just how much he responded. Lucy's fingers made their way into his pants, touching him. Up until here there was nothing they hadn't done before. Her hands in his pants, his hands beneath her bra. But today she wanted to go all the way with him. But she wanted it to be romantic, like she had seen in so many movies. She got off the sofa, took his hand and led him up the stairs into her bedroom. They continued kissing and touching and soon both of them were lying naked on her bed. Jax had always been kind of rough and aggressive when they were fooling around, but now he slowed down. He touched her so softly she barely felt it. They kept caressing and kissing each other, when Jax suddenly stopped.  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked looking directly into her eyes.  
Lucy nodded.  
Jax was very careful not to hurt her, but Lucy still groaned in pain when he was completely inside her. She was glad that she had hid a box of condoms in her night stand. Jax didn't take long. Lucy was disappointed. She didn't understand why everybody was making such a big deal of it. All she had felt was pain, then friction and then she had to pee real badly. She looked over at Jax who was still trembling and breathing hard. She cuddled up into his arms and lay her head onto his chest.  
She could hear his heart beating fast. At least he had enjoyed himself.  
Jax kissed the top of her head: "Did I hurt you?"  
"Only a little," she replied kissing his arm.  
"I'm sorry."  
She kissed him to make him shut up. Then she pulled up the covers and after a while she could hear Jax steady breathing.  
After a while Lucy drifted off to sleep as well.

The next morning Lucy woke up before Jax. She didn't move. She just watched him sleep. She thought about the past night and decided that they would just have to do it a few more times this weekend. It had to get better after a while, otherwise she didn't understand why people bothered with it in the first place.  
Jax stirred and opened his eyes. He was still sleep drunk, but he rolled them around and kissed her softly.  
"Come here," he whispered pulling her close. She enjoyed his strong arms around her and his lips on hers. She did think about bad morning breath for a second, but he didn't seem to mind, so she kissed him back just as passionately.  
Lucy had been right. This time everything was different. She wasn't as nervous as the day before and Jax was much more relaxed as well. This time she actually had fun and when she was lying in his arms a few minutes later, she felt great.  
"I love you," Jax said softly, caressing her face.  
Lucy smiled at him and kissed him softly: "I love you."


	5. Present: Coming Home

_Dear Reader, I am really sorry for taking so long to continue this story. I had this chapter completely planned out in my head, when I decided that it was too early for Jax and Lucy to go there. So i changed everything again. In this chapter you will finally find out a little about Lucy's parents. I'm already writing my next chapter so I hope I'll be a bit faster with that one.  
I hope you enjoy this one and I'm looking forward to your reviews. :)  
_

Present: Coming Home

Lucy was sitting next to Jax, fighting to hold back tears. She didn't say anything as they pulled out of the hospital parking lot and she was glad that Jax kept quiet as well.  
Her thoughts were with little Abel. The doctors had kept her longer than she had expected, but he had to stay even longer. It had been four weeks since the accident and the doctor had told her just this morning that it would be another five weeks until she was able to take him home. To her it sounded like an eternity.  
She looked over at Jax and eyed her husband intently. His shaggy blond hair was falling into his face and she loved the way he looked out the windshield: like all the world belonged to him. She liked the way that his hand, holding a lit cigarette, was hanging out the window, while the other was holding the top of the steering wheel.  
"You look real sexy driving a car baby." She grinned.  
Jax looked at her but didn't say anything. She knew what he wanted and she really wanted it too. But the doctors had given her strict orders: No heavy lifting and No Sex. Her C-Section scar was still aching and she probably wouldn't even be able to do it, but she still wanted to make love to him.  
"I know what you want. I'm sorry but they said to wait at least four more weeks. Everything needs to heal you know."  
He nodded and slowed down to turn into their driveway.  
"Finally," Lucy sighed and smiled at the sight of her their little home.  
"Welcome home, darlin'." Jax said.  
He helped her out of the car, up the front steps and into the living room. She still had to get used to walking with a cast and her scar hurt because of the strange movement. Jax arranged some pillows and Lucy positioned herself comfortably into them.  
Jax left to get the rest of her stuff and Lucy looked around the living room and kitchen. It seemed Gemma had been here. Everything was clean and even her floor looked moped.  
Lucy closed her eyes and relaxed, the last time she sat here was a few hours before her accident. She had talked to Abel. Now she just felt empty. Her little boy wasn't inside of her anymore, but he wasn't in her arms either.  
Jax seemed to know what she was thinking: "In five weeks he'll be here with us."  
Lucy gave him a week smile: "Yeah hopefully." She looked around and pointed at one of the bags he had just carried in: "Please hand me the pump, it's inside the bag you are holding."  
Jax handed her the bag and let her search for everything she needed herself. The doctor's had told her that she should just keep pumping so that they could start feeding Abel breast milk as soon as he was able to digest it. Lucy was glad that she could do something. She wanted to start breastfeeding Abel as soon as he was coming home, but for that she had to secure her milk flow. Jax eyed her as she started using the pump, then he started giggling like a little boy.  
"What?" Lucy grinned.  
"Baby, that just sounds wrong." He answered laughing.  
Lucy smiled: "Well, I guess it's the only way."  
Jax nodded and left the room with her stuff to bring it into their bedroom. She could still hear him giggle in the other room.  
When she was done she made him fill the milk into little glass jars and store them in the freezer, just like the nurse had told her to.  
Jax happily did what she told him to. It seemed he was also glad to help Abel in any way possible.  
"Thanks," Lucy said when he finally took a seat next to her.  
"How's the leg?"  
"Fine I guess," she leaned forward to take of the walking cast then placed her leg on Jax knee: "I think it looks great. No swelling and with the cast I can walk pretty well. My scar is hurting more."  
Jax softly caressed her leg: "I'm really sorry this happened to you. I promise you, we'll find whoever did this to you and he'll pay for it."  
She smiled at him: "I just want my baby to come home."  
"He will. He'll come home really soon."

The next day Gemma came by shortly after they had started eating breakfast.  
"Hey baby," she greeted Jax, then she leaned in and gave Lucy a kiss. Lucy smiled at her and Jax handed her a cup of coffee. Then he put on his cut and kissed Lucy good-bye.  
"I'll be back in a few hours. It's just a meeting at the club house."  
"Okay baby. Don't forget that we still need to set a date to go and get the baby crib. Abel's room looks pretty empty."  
Jax nodded and left.  
"I can get it with you." Gemma offered, but Lucy just shook her head. She loved Gemma like her own mother, but this was Jax' and her son and she really needed him to do this with her.  
"I asked you to come by today, because I really need to go see my dad. Can you drive me?"  
"Sure sweetheart. Do you want to leave right away."  
"Yes. Please."

Lucy had watched Gemma clean up the kitchen, then the two women left Charming and headed for Stockton  
A little later Lucy was sitting opposite her daddy; holding his hand and telling him everything that had happened in the last four weeks. She knew that Jax had made sure he knew what was going on with his girl, but it felt very good to tell him herself.  
"They said that Abel is strong and that he's a real fighter. He will come home in about five weeks. I can't wait. It's so hard not having him around." She couldn't hold back her tears, so she didn't even try.  
"Don't cry." Her father begged, stroking her cheek.  
"Sorry," she sobbed. She didn't want him to feel bad.  
"Jax came by last week and showed me some pictures. That boy looks just like him. And believe me if he is anything like his father or grandfather, nothing will kill him."  
"You're right. I know that he'll come home in a few weeks and we'll finally be a real family. I'm just exhausted and hormonal." Lucy smiled and wiped away her tears.  
"Do they already know who did it?"  
"No."  
"I swear if I find out who did this to you…" He let his voice trail off. She knew what he meant. If he found out who did it and if he wasn't in jail, he would kill them.  
"Jax will take care of it."  
"Yes he will." Her father nodded and placed his hand on hers.  
They continued talking about different things. It was hard seeing her father inside. He had been to prison when she had been a little girl, but that had been different. He had been away for less than two years and Lucy had always known that he would come out in a little while. This time there was no getting out. Her father had been sentenced to a life in prison. The day of his trial had been one of the hardest days in her life. After her mother's horrible death her father had lost his mind. She still didn't know why he did it, but she knew that it had only been luck that had kept him from being sentenced to death. She tried to not think about her mother and that horrible night more than ten years ago, but she would never be able to forget what she had seen.  
"Lucy?" He father asked: "Everything okay?"  
"Yeah. I was just thinking about mama."  
Her father didn't reply, but by the way his expression changed, she knew that he was probably seeing the same pictures she saw all the time. Every time she couldn't fall asleep she would see them. Blood all over the kitchen floor and walls. He mother lying in her own blood – pale and cold. Herself screaming in agony. Her father's cries. Jax and Clay trying to pull her away. All those pictures haunted her, but she had learned to deal with them. It had taken time, but she had found her way back. Back to Jax and back to herself.  
She realized her father had spoken but she had missed his words.  
"Excuse me?"  
"You should go home."  
"Yeah, I probably should." She got up and wrapped her arms around him. He still smelled like her childhood home and she tried to take as much of him in as possible. She came to visit him at least once a month and she had missed him in the last couple of weeks. She wished that he could come with her to the hospital and see Abel, but she knew that this would never happen.  
"When Abel is strong enough I'll bring him." She promised and smiled. He smiled back, hugged her again and watched her leave. Right before she left the room, she turned around once more and waved at him. He smiled and waved back.


	6. Past: Leaving Charming

_**Dear Readers :) This chaptered turned out very long, is pretty distrubing in some places and please beware of SMUT ! I am looking forward to every single review I get ! :)**___

Past:Leaving Charming

Lucy was trying to fit the last of her things into the large carton box standing on her bed. She looked around, her childhood bedroom was almost empty. No photos or posters covering the walls, no papers on her large white desk and no books in the bookshelf standing next to her TV.  
She taped the last box shut and placed it next to piled boxes and her big suite case.  
It was the 28th of august, in the summer after High School; and she was going to leave Charming early the next morning. She knew Jax didn't want her to go, but she had gotten a scholarship to college and she wasn't going to turn that down. She knew she would miss Jax, but the University of Nevada was only a little over two hours away and they would try to see each other as often as possible.  
Lucy had always dreamt of going to college and become a nurse; and now her dream was within reach.  
She had promised Jax to come by around four to still spent some alone time together before around eight everyone else would arrive for her going away Dinner. Her mother and Gemma had spent all morning together, cooking and probably drinking some. Because when her mother arrived about an hour ago, she had went straight to bed.  
"I need to catch some sleep, baby. Tonight is your big night, I want to be well rested." Her mother had giggled.  
Lucy laughed of the memory. Her mother usually didn't drink much and in contrary to Gemma she barely smoked, but when the two old ladies spent time together they always had just a little too much.  
Lucy checked the time and realized that she had to hurry if she still wanted to shower. It was almost four o'clock and she always needed some time to get ready. After a nice long shower, she put on her favorite black dress and flats. She let her hair fall as it pleased, then she grabbed her purse and headed for her car.

She arrived at Jax' a couple of minutes later. When she got out of her car, she saw Jax sitting on the front steps smoking a cigarette.  
"Hey," he smiled at her. She walked over and sat down next to him.  
"You look great." He smiled, then placed one hand on the back of her head and pulled her close. He gave her sweet lingering kiss, his tongue playing with hers. His beard was tickling her and she tried to remember when it had started growing so thick.  
They both had turned eighteen in the last few month and just a few weeks ago they had celebrated their two year anniversary. Jax had taken her out for dinner and a movie, but the date had ended after dinner, when they started making out in his truck. Still it had been a great night and she reckoned this night was going to be even better.  
"Let's go inside. My mom is still out running some errands and Clay is still at the club house."  
Lucy nodded and followed him inside.

Jax kissed her passionately and Lucy caught on very fast. Before she knew it, he had pulled up her dress and down her slip. She was standing against the wall, her arms around his neck, her mouth covered by his. He didn't wait but picked her up and thrust into her so deeply she moaned. He was sweating, his long hair sticking to his forehead, his breath hot against her throat. She didn't have to do anything but enjoy the moment. His strong arms were holding her close and he controlled every move they made. After a few moments she was breathing heavy as well waiting for that sweet final thrust that would send her over the edge.  
Minutes later Jax was carrying her to his bed, stroking her hair and kissing her face. He lay her down, but she got up again to take of her clothes, she didn't want to crinkle her dress. Jax followed her lead and when they slid beneath the covers, dressed in nothing but their underwear, Lucy wanted to do it all over again. She pulled him close and kissed him softly. She didn't let him hurry anything. This time it wasn't a great fuck, it was making love and Lucy liked it just as much. Jax took his time and they spent a long time just moving together.  
Afterwards Jax fell asleep right away and Lucy lay there watching him sleep. It wasn't until she could hear the first people arrive that she decided to wake him up.

"Where is mum?" Lucy asked her father when everybody was there except her. It didn't seem like her mother to be later for Lucy's going-away dinner.  
"She said she'll be here on time. Maybe she did have a little too much to drink and is still sleeping."  
Lucy nodded, but she didn't really believe it.  
When her mother still hadn't arrived after dinner Lucy started to worry. She called her mother's cell and their home number a couple of times, but no one answered.  
"Daddy? Do you think everything is ok?"  
"Of course." Her dad answered, then continued talking to Bobby.  
Lucy really wanted to go check on her mother, but it was her last night with Jax and she didn't want to ruin it by leaving.  
At eleven Lucy and Jax excused themselves so Jax could drive her home. Her train was leaving early the next morning and they still wanted some alone time together.  
She hugged and kissed everyone goodbye. She hugged her dad last, he kissed her and said: "I'll take you to the station tomorrow, your mother has to start work early."  
She smiled at him: "Jax wanted to take me."  
"Oh." He didn't say anything further, but she knew that she had just hurt his feelings.  
"I mean you can both take me, right?"  
"Sure," Jax butted in and lay his arm over her dad's shoulder.  
He dad laughed: "I guess that means we'll have to take the cage."  
"Man, I have to wait another three years until I get out of that thing." Jax said.  
Pete laughed and pulled Lucy close again: "Check on your mom."  
"Sure daddy." Lucy smiled, then Jax and her left the house and headed for Lucy's car.

Jax and she talked all the way back to her place. The only thing they didn't talk about was Nevada. When Jax parked the car, they stayed seated for a little while, talking about their plans.  
It took Lucy some time, but finally she found the right words: "Listen. I know it sucks that I'm going away and I know it angers you that I'm leaving you behind. I've always known you didn't want to go to college. I know your dream is getting a cut and a bike. I respect that and I don't need you to do anything else. But I am not leaving you, I am just leaving this town for a few years to pursue my own dreams and when I'm done I'll come back here. I promise. I'll always be your old lady. And being a nurse isn't my only dream, you know that."  
Jax took her hand and squeezed it: "I think it's good that you are doing what you are doing. I love you for following your dreams. I'm just going to miss you."  
Lucy nodded, then she leaned towards him and gave him a soft kiss.  
"Come on," Jax said and got out of the car.  
The couple walked up the small path that led to Lucy's front door.  
"That's weird." Lucy said, when she saw that the door was standing ajar.  
"Maybe your mother left and forgot to lock the door?"  
"Maybe," Lucy said, but she had this odd sensation that something was horribly wrong.  
She pushed the door open and called for her mother, but no one answered.  
"We should call your dad." Jax said and pulled out his cell phone.  
Lucy shook her head: "Maybe I didn't close the door properly and she is still sleeping upstairs. Wait here."  
She hurried up the stairs but found her parent's bedroom empty.  
"She's not in bed," Lucy called from upstairs. Jax was still standing in the hall when she came back downstairs: "We probably missed her."  
Jax shrugged his shoulders: "Probably."  
"You go upstairs, I'll get us something to drink. Ok?"  
Jax nodded and headed up the stairs.  
Lucy took off her shoes and walked barefoot into the kitchen. The light was out and when she stepped into something wet, she thought the dishwasher broke again.  
"Shit," she searched for the light switch and when she finally found it and the room was lit - she screamed.  
She was looking at her mother, lying in a puddle of blood. It took Lucy some time to realize that it was her mother's blood that felt warm at her feet. She tumbled forwards, falling to her knees. She was still screaming, when she shook her mother, but of course there was no reaction. Her mother was pale and when she touched her she felt cold against Lucy's skin. Lucy could see movement behind her but she didn't turn. She didn't care. She was screaming in agony, holding her mother tight, rocking back and forth. She didn't know how long he had been sitting there, screaming and crying. She didn't hear or see anything that was going on behind her.  
She didn't see Jax, who tried to pull her away. She didn't notice how she fought him off, scratching and biting. She didn't hear how he called her father and Clay. She didn't feel any time pass. She didn't hear her father calling her name, when he ran up the stairs and into the house. She just screamed and begged. Begged for her mother to wake up and begged for herself to wake up.  
Together Clay and Jax were able to pull her away. This time she didn't fight, she let herself be pulled into the living room. Jax held her tight, whispered soothing words into her ear and screaming things towards Clay.  
She didn't react to anything. Jax tried to make her look at him, but she just starred past him, watching her father.  
He was kissing her mother's face, howling in pain and disbelief.  
"Oh baby. No. Please. No. No. Mira. No!"  
Lucy just stared at him.  
Jax was still talking to her, his face only inches away from hers and slowly he moved into focus.  
"Baby? Can you hear me? Lucy?"  
She looked at him.  
"Lucy? Please say something baby." He turned towards Clay: "I think she's in shock."  
"What the fuck happened?" Tig, who just entered, called. Clay pulled him aside, but Lucy couldn't understand what he was saying. She could hear more bikes on the street outside and sirens becoming louder. More and more people arrived and Lucy suddenly felt very tired. Jax was still trying to get her attention but she couldn't speak.  
She watched Jax as he talked to Unser, who must have arrived shortly after Tig.  
"No you can't question her." Jax said, his voice full of worry.  
"Son, I need to talk to her. We need to know what happened."  
"No you won't." Jax hissed: "She won't even talk to me. She's been through enough. You can talk to her tomorrow."  
Clay stepped in, his large frame shielding Unser from Lucy's vision: "Jax' right. You will have to do it tomorrow."  
Lucy felt relieved when she saw Unser shrug his shoulders and turn, he didn't dare disregard Clay's orders.  
"Jax?" She finally found her ability to speak. Jax rushed over. He was so tall, that even though she was sitting on the couch and he was kneeling in front of it, his face was above her.  
"I'm here. What happened?"  
"Get it off me." She wept.  
"Get what off?"  
"Her blood. It's all over me."  
Lucy tried rubbing it off. There was blood everywhere. Her hands, her clothes and of course on her feet. She couldn't even run for the bathroom. The thought of the warm sensation beneath her soles made her sick. Jax barely made it out of the way when she lost all of Gemma's delicious cooking onto the living room carpet.  
"Oh baby," Jax whispered. He exchanged looks with Clay. Lucy was still gaging when he pulled her up. "Come on."  
He carried her into the first floor bathroom. He helped her out of her clothes and into the shower. The hot water turned red before it reached the drain and the sight of it made her sick again. Jax helped her as much as he could and watched her as she scrubbed her body so hard it left marks.  
"Baby that's enough." He said and turned off the water. He helped her out of the shower and into some new clothes. They lay down next to each other. Jax pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. He stroke her hair and soothed her. It didn't take long when her breathing steadied and she fell asleep.

When Lucy awoke the next morning it was still dark outside. It took only a moment when the events of the past night crashed into her. She couldn't feel Jax behind her and for a second she thought he had left, but then she heard voices downstairs and she could make out Jax' among them.  
She got up, put on an old sweater and headed downstairs.  
Her eyes hurt from crying and her throat hurt from throwing up. But the worst pain she felt was coming from deep inside her. Like her core had been damaged. She entered the living room. Everyone was there, everyone except her dad.  
"Where is he?" She asked loudly to over sound the voices.  
The room grew quit.  
"We don't know," Clay said.  
Lucy didn't answer but turned around and faced the kitchen. Most of the blood was still there, but her mother's body was gone.  
"Where is she?" Lucy cried, tears streaming down her face.  
"They had to take her, baby." It was Jax. He was standing right behind her.  
"What can I do?" he continued, both of his hands supporting her.  
"I need to talk to my father."  
"We tried calling him. When they took Mira away he left. He said he needed some air, but he didn't come back."  
Lucy felt anger build up inside. How could they just let him go by himself?  
"Find him." She barked, then facing the men sitting in the living room, her voice load and strong: "You better find him!"

**_Please don't forget to review !_**


	7. Present: Taking Abel home

_Hello everybody, I know it has been ages since I updated the last time. I was writing exams and I just couldn't get around to it. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review. _

Present: Taking Abel home

Jax rolled off of her and lay next to her panting. Lucy sighed and turned around to face him. He smiled at her and pulled her close.  
"I've missed this," he whispered and kissed her softly.  
Lucy giggled: "Me too, baby."  
It was true. It had been weeks since her accident and the C-Section and she was finally back to being her old self. The casket had come off two weeks ago and they had taken Abel out of the ventilator four days ago. Everything had gone great and today was the day she would finally be able to take her baby home. Jax and she had spent the last days setting up the baby room. They had gotten a white baby crib and a very comfortable blue armchair. Jax had found a sleep sofa in his mother's storage and it fit perfectly with the other furniture.  
She had missed having sex and she was very glad that Jax had waited for her such a long time. She knew who her husband was and she knew what that meant. Jax had slept with other women in the long time they had been together and with even more in the short year in between, where they had been separated. What happens on a run, stays on a run – simple motto, but it kept her sane. He knew what would happen if he did something like his in Charming, so he didn't.  
In the last couple of weeks he had stayed in town and tried to figure out who had done this to her. He had talked to many people and probably hurt some as well, but Lucy didn't care. She wanted Jax to avenge their son and she had told him so many times. She made sure he was focused on killing whoever hurt their baby. Every club member, especially the president, supported Jax.  
"Did you talk to Unser? He called yesterday and told me that he found a witness to my accident."  
"Yeah, I've talked to him. He came by yesterday when you were already asleep."  
"What did he say?"  
"Well, the witness seems to be a school teacher and mother. She was standing about two streets away because her baby kept crying in the backseat. She told Unser that a black SVU speed past her and shortly after that she heard the crash. She didn't get a good look at the license plate, but she did say, that the driver was a middle aged white man. I guess that means we can exclude the Mayans and the One-Niners. Maybe one of Darby's guys. But I don't get it. Darby just got out of Chino. I don't see a motive." He paused: "Anyway I called Clay and he set a meeting with him later today."  
Lucy nodded, she didn't want to ruin her great mood by thinking about that old hateful pig.  
"I'll take care of it baby. I promise," Jax said taking her hand in his.  
"I know you will. But I'm just so angry, whoever did this didn't just put my life in jeopardy, but our baby's life as well. None of it makes sense. The people you work with, no matter what side, they don't just kill women and children."  
Jax shrugged and pulled her close, but Lucy stiffened, something she had just thought about made her stomach turn in disgust.  
"What?" Jax asked his gaze confused.  
"None of it makes sense unless," she paused, fear growing inside her: "the club had nothing to do with it."  
"Excuse me?" He asked, still disordered.  
"Maybe this has nothing to do with the club or you. Maybe this is all about me," Lucy choked out.  
Jax didn't move, his eyes narrowing to slits.  
Lucy sat up, her heart was racing and she knew if she didn't relax she would start to hyperventilate. She tried to stop herself from thinking about that night but the images overwhelmed her in a second. She fought against them, looking directly into Jax' eyes, knowing he could pull her back into reality. He seemed to notice the panic building inside her, so he pulled her close and whispered soothing words into her ears. First she couldn't hear them, her mind made her listen to her own screams. The screams that had made her throat burn. Screams of agony and fear and disbelief. But then slowly Jax voice broke through them and with his words entering her conscious the ugly images left.  
"I'll keep you safe. I promise." Jax muttered, stroking her hair and kissing her face.  
Lucy closed her eyes. Jax had finally understood what she had tried to tell him. That this had something to do with her family. Her mother had been brutally tortured and killed and until this day, no one had found out why. Lucy shivered. Whoever tried to kill her, he was probably still out there, waiting to finish his.  
"I'm going to be sick," she mumbled and hurried into the bathroom.  
Jax was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and watched her approach.  
"Are you okay?" He asked and she could see how worried he was.  
"Yeah. I thought I would throw up, but I didn't. I just needed to calm myself down."  
"I thought about what you said and I think that you might actually be right."  
Lucy nodded, pour herself a cup of coffee and sat down opposite Jax.  
"When do we pick up Abel?"  
Lucy looked at her watch: "In about an hour."  
"Okay, I'll meet you there. I really have to talk to Clay and bounce your idea of him."  
"Do that baby," Lucy got up and kissed him softly on the lips.

Lucy was holding Abel and kissing his sweet face, when Jax entered.  
"I signed all the papers. We can just walk out with him," Lucy smiled and tried to hold back the tears.  
"Oh baby," Jax stepped closer and hugged them both. He kissed first Lucy and then his son.  
He lay his arm around her, picked up the car seat and led her out of the room and into the elevator. Lucy was glad that he had his arm around her. All she could do was stare at Abel's perfect features. She kissed him over and over and whispered loving words to him.  
Jax chuckled: "You are going to make him a real softie."  
Lucy shot him an angry look: "He's a baby. You can never love a baby to much"  
Jax laughed again and opened the door for her. They walked across the parking lot towards Lucy's new car.  
Jax took Abel from her and strapped him into the car seat. Lucy thought about getting in the back seat with him but decided against it. She got in the front seat next to Jax and waited for him to start the engine.  
On the way home they barely talked. Lucy listened to every sound Abel made. Every gargle, every cough she turned around and checked how he was.  
"Baby, you are making me crazy. He's fine," Jax chuckled and took Lucy's hand.  
She laughed with him and tried to relax.  
At home she carried Abel into his room and sat down on the couch with him.  
"Look around you baby. This is your home. This is your room. This is where you are safe."  
Jax leaned against the doorframe and Lucy tried to read his face. But this look she had never seen. It wasn't protective or blissful. It was a peaceful look. Like the three of them in this room could mask out all the bad shit going down.  
"Sit with us."  
Jax walked over and sat down next to her. She handed Abel to him and watched as her man rocked their son in his arms.  
"I love you," she said and kissed him on the cheek.  
"I love you, too," Jax replied.  
Abel started fussing and Lucy decided to try and breastfeed him the first time without any help. Since he had come out of the ventilator she had done it a few times in the hospital but she was still nervous if it would work now.  
A few minutes later Abel was happily drinking and Lucy felt wonderful. This was what she had always dreamed of. And even though she had had a horrible couple of weeks, she knew that she would want more babies. She looked at Jax who was watching her quietly.  
"Don't you have to be somewhere?" Lucy laughed and stroke Abel's soft head.  
"Are you trying to get rid of me?"  
She shook her head: "No. I just don't want you to shirk out of your duties."  
Jax kissed her and walked out the room: "What would I be without you?"  
She laughed: "Probably more rich and less worried."  
She could hear Jax laughing loudly as he walked out the door.


End file.
